giving thanks

Thankfully feeling thankful after a long talk with a good friend so I’m gonna do up a give thanks post.

It may not seem like it but I’m really thankful for having wonderful people around me during ylead week when the school virtually treated us like shit and stuff.

Thank you to kaihsin, xuanfei, yating, helen, shuxien, ziyi, zhonghao and kinfai for being around during that week 🙂 – I had so much fun with our ‘undercover’ dealings in the history room, our weird documentary marathons, and our random desperate outing to teadot just because my groupon coupon was about to expire (my fault)

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/end of ylead week happenings/

Random photo moments I feel worth sharing:

(all add more if i find more)

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/end/

On to other matters.

I’ve been feeling so vulnerable lately – I sometimes smile/laugh/talk just so I’ll remain distracted and won’t end up crying. I bother myself with trivialities to remain sane and composed.

School has really been tough for quite a few of us as of late. (including me) GP lesson the other day oddly was spent trying not to cry, and I don’t even know what set me off.

One by one, we’re beginning to crumble under all that stress society weighs. I personally think I’ve been behaving rather weird lately crying in school and stuff I don’t even know why is it depression or something????

Well, I guess it’s how everything just feels so very hopeless amongst all the positivity around myself. Perhaps it’s the lax lessons during ylead or my abhorrent grades – just sitting in class makes me struggle at the thought that all might (will) come to naught. What’s the point in going to class, all just to fail eventually. (you get what I mean) It feels as if though that silver lining in the clouds has disappeared.

It’s been a month of firsts and I don’t know if this’ll be for the better or worse.

Not exactly in the position to say this right now, but to those few friends having trouble with life right now:

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I used to wholeheartedly believe in this until recently. Is this how my eventual demise will begin? Losing my principles and beliefs? Still, it doesn’t hurt to repeat this in your mind occasionally.

Isn’t it odd how one week has changed so much?

It’s been a whirlwind of a month, and I find myself unable to comprehend what has happened. The above was just an attempt to categorise my irrational thoughts – please excuse my incoherence.

I never thought I’d be that girl who cries,
That girl whom everyone’s obviously puzzled at,
That girl who doesn’t know who she really is,
That girl who can’t see the light.

I didn’t sign up for this.

I’m tired of being tired.

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